# 310, 399 Must Read!!
- Hold auditions to cast their dog as “Dog #3” in a local theater play.
- Build a shrine around their favorite chew toy.
- Let the dog pick what’s for dinner by sniffing meal prep ingredients.
- Dress their dog like historical figures (Abe Barkham Lincoln, anyone?).
- Create a dog-themed reality show: “Keeping Up with the K-9s.”
- Celebrate the “first barkiversary” of their dog’s first bark.
- Bake a birthday cake and accidentally eat the dog’s by mistake.
- Design a doggo-themed amusement park in the backyard.
- Refer to their walk route as “the neighborhood tour.”
- Use a baby monitor to hear if the dog’s dreams are “emotional.”
- Throw a gender reveal party for a neutered male.
- Hire a professional dog photographer for their “glamour shots.”
- Ask the dog what they should name their car.
- Build a photo booth for their dog’s selfies.
- Refer to the water bowl as a “hydration station.”
- Create a “paw-litical campaign” and print fake campaign buttons.
- Let their dog “work” remotely in the home office.
- Send out “save the date” cards for a neuter appointment.
- Commission a fanfiction where their dog becomes president.
- Let the dog “host” a virtual trivia night.
- Teach their dog to spin records as a DJ.
- Take a vow of silence to “connect on a deeper level” with their dog.
- Create a Spotify playlist titled “Bark Beats Vol. 3.”
- Make their dog wear a smartwatch that tracks zoomies.
- Rent a movie theater for a private showing of Air Bud.
- Dress them up as characters from The Office for Halloween.
- Organize a “dog only” bachelorette party.
- Hire a skywriter to spell “Who’s a good boy?” over the park.
- Build a 3D model of the dog out of Legos.
- Change their voicemail to say, “If this is about my dog, press 1.”
- File taxes as “Head of Doghold.”
- Throw a “Potty Trained and Proud” celebration.
- Let the dog paint using non-toxic “tail brushes.”
- Build a “Bark Bucks” coffee stand for the dog.
- Write dog haikus and leave them around the house.
- Name all of their Wi-Fi networks after the dog.
- Host a movie night with subtitles and themed dog treats.
- Get the dog’s fur laminated into a bookmark.
- Send their dog’s paw print to space (for science!).
- Turn their dog’s bark into a dubstep remix.
- Host an “Oscars for Dogs” and cry when theirs wins.
- Use their dog to break up with someone: “Rex just doesn’t vibe with you.”
- Create a fake LinkedIn profile with endorsements like “Good Listener” and “Hard Borker.”
- Stage a dramatic slow-motion montage of the dog catching a frisbee.
- Hang fairy lights in the backyard just for “ambience” during night pees.
- Turn the living room into a ball pit “just because he’s been stressed.”
- Print the dog’s face on their socks, mug, pillow, and throw blanket.
- Create a mood playlist titled “Songs To Sniff To.”
- Make a “dogumentary” about the dog’s squeaky toy addiction.
- Assign their dog a Hogwarts house (usually Hufflepuff).
- Commission a Renaissance-style family portrait featuring the dog as royalty.
- Refer to the leash as “his red carpet.”
- Hold an Olympic-style event: Fetchathlon 2025.
- Train the dog to detect bad vibes.
- Give the dog a designated bathroom candle.
- Replace all their family photos with the dog’s “candid moments.”
- Let the dog choose between suitors by sniffing shirts.
- Buy a couch just for the dog.
- Share “day-in-the-life” Reels with motivational background music.
- Put up a “Beware of Dog” sign even though it’s a Shih Tzu in pajamas.
- Refer to drool as “puppy moisturizer.”
- Create a fragrance line called “Eau de Chew Toy.”
- Hold a “Who Farted?” trial with the dog as the accused.
- Let the dog wear fake glasses for “nerdy photo day.”
- Enter their dog into a “pawetry slam.”
- Install a disco ball in the living room for zoomie parties.
- Celebrate “National Belly Rub Day” with themed snacks and decor.
- Let the dog bark during Zoom meetings and pretend it’s “input.”
- Buy 12 different squeaky chickens and name each one.
- Let the dog decide what show to binge-watch based on tail wag frequency.
- Refer to barking as “feedback.”
- Host a “bark-chelor” finale with rose-shaped treats.
- Make a replica of their house for the dog’s crate.
- Throw a sleepover party with matching pajamas and popcorn.
- Have a formal photoshoot in front of the dog park.
- Refer to their dog’s head tilts as “contemplative moments.”
- Train them to “boo” when bad commercials come on.
- Get a reading of their dog’s past lives from a psychic.
- Celebrate their “first poop of the year” with sparklers.
- Host a podcast titled “Barking Into the Void.”
- Dress them in a tie for job interviews (for moral support).
- Make a dog-shaped cake for the dog’s birthday and still eat it themselves.
- Use their dog to flirt in public: “He never barks at just anyone…”
- Let the dog “give a speech” at family reunions.
- Build a little library for their dog’s favorite chew books.
- Train the dog to “bless the food” before dinner.
- Post open letters online addressed to their dog.
- Create a parody reality show: The Real HousePups of West LA.
- Make a scavenger hunt around the house for the dog’s toy.
- Set up a webcam so grandma can say goodnight to the dog.
- Write Yelp reviews as their dog (“Bark bark, 10/10 grass.”)
- Record a voice memo of the dog snoring to help them fall asleep.
- Let the dog sit at the head of the dinner table “because he earned it.”
- Refer to belly rubs as “puppy Pilates.”
- Knit sweaters from dog hair (and then brag about it).
- Build a fake moon landing set for their space-loving pug.
- Host a fashion show: Project Barkway.
- Say their dog is “voting third party” because he’s a contrarian.
- Make a TikTok trend called #PupParentProblems.
- Create a “BarkBoard” of life goals, including “Meet Lassie.”